The birds were singing, the sun shining brightly from a clear blue sky as the day began. A very special day for a very special little person in the pleasant south coastal town of Gosport, was about to begin. It was Saturday morning the 2nd of August 2003. This very special person was going to be officially named today; to be given the names of Clarke Anthony Arthur Hare.
Clarke was born to parents, Sophie and Malcolm on the 7th April 2003 at St Mary’s Hospital, Portsmouth weighing in at 6lb 2oz (2.78 Kg).
As the morning progressed excitement was growing in both the Hare and McGregor households; Last minute checks, to make sure everything was ready and that there were going to be no last minute hitches; That last read through of the Order of Ceremony; Holly just a little nervous, reading through the poem she would be reading at the opening of the ceremony, reciting it out aloud one more time. Meanwhile little Clarke knows not what is going to take place later this day in his honour; but perhaps he does know that something is going to be different for his day today; everyone making him the centre of attention. But the normal baby things like being fed and changed must carry on….
Mum, grandmum, Debbie and aunt Holly are all busy preparing the buffet, sandwiches, sausage rolls and all sorts of nibbles for the guests to enjoy after the completion of the ceremonial.
A brief stop for lunch before taking everything over to the Georgian Room at the Thorngate Hall in Gosport where the ceremony was due to take place. The buffet food is taken into the kitchen area and covered up, all ready for everyone. The disco equipment arrives on time and is set up for the fun later in the evening.
All is ready and it is time for everyone to go back home and get changed and then head on back to the hall before 5:00 pm when the guests are due to start arriving.
Clarke, now awake after a good afternoon’s sleep, is fed and then changed into his brand new outfit for the ceremony which will soon take place in his honour.
And it was shortly after 5 when the first of the many guests arrived. Amongst the early arrivals was the celebrant, Alan Rayment who would be conducting the ceremony.
The ceremony was written especially for the occasion by Clarke’s wonderful grandmum, Debbie.
It was 6:00 pm and a hush descended upon the hall as Holly stood up to recite the opening poem:
Babies are Angels
Babies are Angels that fly to the earth,
their wings disappear at the time of their birth
one look in their eyes and we're never the same
They're part of us now and that part has a name
That part is your heart and a bond that won't sever
our Babies are Angels, we love them forever.
Following this opening poem Alan read out the Welcome Address.
“Good afternoon everyone, my name is Alan and I am delighted to have been invited here this afternoon by Malcolm and Sophie to lead the celebrations that will officially welcome baby Clarke into our world, our community and our hearts. I would like to extend a very warm welcome to you all and, on behalf of Malcolm and Sophie, thank you for joining us on this very special and important occasion.
And this is indeed a very special occasion, for we gather here today together in unity to acknowledge a new chapter that has begun in all of our lives, a new chapter that begins with Clarke and affects us all, for we are the people who have been honoured by Malcolm Sophie and Clarke as being of their community, their circle of people … those who they have chosen to celebrate their life’s special moments with, and to whom they will turn to in times of need. We are their extended family and, as such, share in their commitment to this new little one, who has changed their lives forever.”
“Let us just take some time to think to ourselves what our own responsibilities to Clarke may be whilst we listen to an extract from Laurie Lee’s The Firstborn read to us by Mark Bradford”
Adapted from The Firstborn by Laurie Lee
What have I got exactly? And what am I going to do with him? And what for that matter will he do with me? I have got a son whose life is already separate from mine, whose will already follows its own directions, and who has quickly corrected my woolly preconceptions of him by being something remorselessly different. He is the child of himself and will be what he is. I am merely the keeper of his temporary helplessness. Even so, with luck, he can alter me; indeed, is doing so now. At this stage in my life he will give me more than he gets, and may even later become my keeper. But if I could teach him anything at all - by unloading upon him some of the ill-tied parcels of my years - I’d like it to be acceptance and a relish for life …
… Given this world to be in, where he can grow reasonably wild, he will also expect the comfort of some authority. To load any child with absolute freedom is to force it to inhabit a wasteland, where it must push its will to find the limits allowed it and grow frantic unless it does. Let him have the assurance, then, of a proper authority, and of a not too flexible routine, within those restraints he may take occasional refuge … otherwise I hope he’ll be free. I want him to be free from fear to enquire and get answers, free to imagine and tell tall tales, free to be curious and to show enthusiasm, and free at times to invade my silences.
Alan followed this by inviting two representatives from the community, Elaine and Audrey to come up and light a candle …and with the words “the middle candle represents Clarke, so by lighting the outer candles we each of us take a spark of Clarke with us.”
“As well as his parents who have made a commitment to Clarke in love, I would like to take a few moments to address some other very important people in Clarke’s life … his grandparents. When grandparents are able to involve themselves in the development of their grandchildren it is a great bonus and a blessing. The important role played by grandparents is the passing on of their traditions and history. They assist children in finding their identity and inner security. The special relationship of trust and mutual enjoyment which develops between child and grandparent is something very special indeed. This cultural inheritance lays the foundation for the young person to construct their personality during childhood and adolescence and adds great meaning to their existence.
For this reason Malcolm and Sophie wish to recognise Clarke’s grandparents Penny and Jeff, Deborah and David, great nanny Joan, great grandma, Trixie and great granddad Basil and express their gratification for the role they play in Clarke’s life.
As part of Clarke’s extended family we would also like to acknowledge the role that his aunts and uncles play in supporting and guiding him through life … so may we also remember now his aunt Sarah, auntie Holly and uncle Nick.
Malcolm and Sophie have also asked that we remember some other important people who they know will be looking down on Clarke from above and guiding him through every step of his life … Malcolm’s grandma Win ,and granddads Arthur, & Papa … and Sophie’s nan Sheila and granddad Arthur and uncle Stephen.”
For Malcolm and Sophie the experience of parenthood is one which will have changed their lives forever. To be a parent forces you to recognise that you are no longer a child. Claiming adulthood, we look at our children and see ourselves. We feel the temptation to help them succeed, where we have failed. But as much as we may seek to make them like us, we cannot. What we can do is see that they do their best and as they grow, they will be pushing us to grow with them. This we can do, if we love them for who they are - unique and special.
This is an occasion when Malcolm and Sophie have chosen to commit themselves to their role of parents to little Clarke. That role, they feel, is expressed well in the words of The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran which will be read to us now by Nick
And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children."
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Following the excellent rendering of this poem, Alan then asked parents, Sophie and Malcolm to light a candle for Clarke.
Once the candle had been lit, Alan then addressed the Guardians, Turn Simon, Brian and Carrie.
“And now I would like to acknowledge the role of Clarke’s Guardians Simon, Brian and Carrie who have been especially chosen by Malcolm and Sophie. You three have a very special part to play in Clarke’s life for you undertake a lifelong commitment here today to fulfil the role of friend, confidante, mentor and spiritual guide to this little boy as he grows and develops through his life.
And so I ask you now Simon, Brian and Carrie … do you formally accept a commitment to this child, to offer friendship and sanctuary, so that he can turn to you in times of doubt or difficulty with confidence and trust?”
Simon, Brian and Carrie all replied in unison:
“We do”
At this point Alan then invited them to touch Clarke at the same time as he did so.
Saying,
“And now will you each light a candle for Clarke”
Alan then asked the community, all standing to turn towards Clarke
Saying:
“A name, once given will be associated forever with a face, a voice, a walk, a laugh, and all the other idiosyncrasies our family and friends recognise. This child’s name will be spoken, whispered, shouted, cried, sung and written … thousands of times, impersonally or meaningfully … by family, friends, neighbours, school friends, teachers, doctors, colleagues, lovers, strangers, and maybe by children and grandchildren. It will define his identity.”
And then turning towards Clarke, Alan uttered the words of the Naming:
“Your name is CLARKE ANTHONY ARTHUR HARE, and we wish you happiness and fulfilment in your life
I anoint your feet that they may help you to travel far in life
I anoint your hands that they may always work for what is good and true
I anoint your heart that it may beat in strength and love
I anoint your lips that they may always speak in truth
I anoint your brow that your mind may seek wisdom and enlightenment”
Upon this there was loud applause which resounded throughout the room.
Alan then brought the ceremony to a close at approx 6:30 pm by saying:
“Clarke, we wish you and your family a long and happy life in a loving and peaceful world. We hope that you grow healthy and that it is your good fortune to make life more pleasant for those whose paths you cross. It is my honour and the joy of us all to welcome you.
On behalf of his Malcolm and Sophie, it is my honour to introduce Clarke Anthony Arthur Hare to you, his family and friends.”
“We now invite you to indulge yourselves in the buffet prepared so lovingly by Sophie, Debbie and Holly. Enjoy. The disco will be starting at around 7 so I hope that you are all fit and well for the party and dancing the night away. Have fun my friends”
The disco and the dancing finished at around 11 pm and all that remained now was the clearing up the room, for which there was many willing helpers.
And so ended a very special and wonderful day for everyone involved, and worth every minute of all the hard work involved in its preparation.
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Written and compiled by Ian Iosson,
August 2003.